Man~ Just as soon as I’m getting confidence in the job I’m doing, I made a mistake. This is bad. It makes the people working with me has to do a double job. I shouldn’t have act all confidence and proud and rather pay more close details to the things I’m doing and be very careful handling it. This sucks.
I feel bad by just the thoughts of it. Aww Man!~~
Fuck This. I Dont feel that good working here. But I couldnt tell Ah Su cause she always brush it off, saying that I'm pretending and only wanted to show off. And I don't feel like explaining to Evon all the way from the beginning. She dont even know who is who. My mom, dont even get me started. She dont gets me, all she do is mad at me. She wants me to study and work at the same time but I could only do one thing at a time. I'm not super smart or super dedicated. I could barely concentrate on one thing, what more I have to handle 2 things. I'm really exhausted and depressed.
But I couldnt tell anyone. I dont know what I want or what I'm searching for. I dont know what I'm doing or what I'm searching for. My heart is aching now. I swore I could cry if I'm not in office now. My heart feel so hollow. I care-less bout anything or anyone. I keep losing myself in my own world. My imaginary world; not methaphorically. I'm so caught up with myself and everything else doesnt matter. I have no guts and lots of compressed ego. I got nothing.
I reveal my feelings here in a place that no one goes. People around me dont even know I'm blogging. Even if they do know, they dont know where is it. Im not really keen to tell them either. This is the only place where I could really be honest about everything. A place that I know nobody will judge me. I know I'm pretty sarcastic all the time but I also know the reason why I'm sarcastic is because I'm scared. Well as they say, the first step to recovery is admitting your flaws/weaknesses.
