Smiling

I'm trying to smile. But its so hard when you don't really mean it.

This is it

I've made a huge decision today. I'll be registering with Wawasan Open University in Logistic and Supply Chain Managment this sunday without telling my mom for July intake. She's been the object of objection every single time I announced that I want to pursue my study. So, I'm leaving her out of this. My big brother say he will help me out by sponsoring for half of my study and my other brother will borrow me some if I need it for study. I'm honestly moved by my brothers action and to think that I've been always so disappointed and angry with them because of my own jealousy that they can do whatever they want and me having to do exactly what my parent asked. I realized now that the choice is mine to make. And I've choose to comply with my parent. But I hope this will be the end and the beginning of a new start.

Living is Hardcore

How come school teaches you the basic of everything but living? Living is so hardcore. I mean no one ever told you about all the life contouring decisions or even the fact that not all thing is just as it seems to be? Life is not as simple or even pleasant as how it appears to be in the fun days of school. Government should really consider a study plan on how to survive in this vicious cycle that we have to live in as soon as we are done with schools. How many graduates that could not fit in this thing we called living? 

Living is a very simple word that we get accustoms to but we never really understood what it means. Yes, you can quote the definition of living from Wikipedia or dictionary or even ask your folks about it. But how many of them will really lay down it for you?

Living is surviving. Living every day is surviving every day. It is just that simple. Here are 3 rules to surviving every day that I found out the hard way.

No 1

People don’t always want to hear the truth and they always only want to hear what they want to hear.

No 2

Patience will bring you to a great length. 

No 3

If you are able to draw a clear line between friends and your professional life, working won’t be such a bitch.

Works Tough

Its actually true, the fact that it's definitely hard to find a job/career that you enjoy that don't suck. This few weeks been disasterous and i keep getting swallowed by everything that I did. Some customers a dick and such a pain in the ass but some as nice as a nice people could possibly be. N p/s: the newcomer is an ass.

Ain’t a Good Day

Man~ Just as soon as I’m getting confidence in the job I’m doing, I made a mistake. This is bad. It makes the people working with me has to do a double job. I shouldn’t have act all confidence and proud and rather pay more close details to the things I’m doing and be very careful handling it. This sucks.

I feel bad by just the thoughts of it. Aww Man!~~

Fuck This. I Dont feel that good working here. But I couldnt tell Ah Su cause she always brush it off, saying that I'm pretending and only wanted to show off. And I don't feel like explaining to Evon all the way from the beginning. She dont even know who is who. My mom, dont even get me started. She dont gets me, all she do is mad at me. She wants me to study and work at the same time but I could only do one thing at a time. I'm not super smart or super dedicated. I could barely concentrate on one thing, what more I have to handle 2 things. I'm really exhausted and depressed.

But I couldnt tell anyone. I dont know what I want or what I'm searching for. I dont know what I'm doing or what I'm searching for. My heart is aching now. I swore I could cry if I'm not in office now. My heart feel so hollow. I care-less bout anything or anyone. I keep losing myself in my own world. My imaginary world; not methaphorically. I'm so caught up with myself and everything else doesnt matter. I have no guts and lots of compressed ego. I got nothing.

I reveal my feelings here in a place that no one goes. People around me dont even know I'm blogging. Even if they do know, they dont know where is it. Im not really keen to tell them either. This is the only place where I could really be honest about everything. A place that I know nobody will judge me. I know I'm pretty sarcastic all the time but I also know the reason why I'm sarcastic is because I'm scared. Well as they say, the first step to recovery is admitting your flaws/weaknesses.

A Brand New Flight

The last time I've blogged was before raya and mooncake fest of year 2010 and now its 12 March,2011. Wow~ its been that long.

Here's the thing, I've never thought of going back to blogging but look where I am now. Apparently, I'm bored to death and blogging makes me look like I was doing something. Oh well...

Remember the last time I said I work in a dead end job with lots of work, well not anymore. I'm proud to say now I'm an executive in a listed company. AweSome!!!!! But the only down part is that I don't really have any work to do here as it's only been 2 weeks I'm here. I'm so used to be so occupied during working time that the time flies like a G6, now doing nothing really bother me much. Time was as slow as a G666, direct flight to Land Boredom.

Now here in the new company, there so much things to learn and so little things I've known. As usual, the people was great here. And yea, They speak Chinese here. But my Chinese getting better and its a no problem as long as I can get my message across. But if they're talking fast, OOoo Emmm Geee!!!!!!

And I've just heard a few a places had been hit by tsunami and earth quake. My condolence to those that have lost somebody they've known. Its been awful, so I've heard from a friend but I havent really read about it yet. But I will.

Till here. Life too short to keep talking about. Just live it.

Updated a little only

How long has it been since the last time I've blogged? Hmm~~


Feels like ages ago.


Anyway, Raya was here and Mooncake fest coming up. Looking forward to play lantern (kiddie one) with my bros and sis-es. Gonna be one good of a day. That's all.
Not feeling that awesome today.


Nites/morning/afternoon(choose any one).