I realised something, suddenly. I've come to realised how much I hate myself by blaming others on what I could not do which in turn if only I tried harder, I would not need to blame others on what I could not achieve and starting to love myself again. Do anything I say make sense to you?And to make matter worse, I knew about it and seems to do nothing about it although I want it to change so badly. This left me feeling patheticand parasite-ing.
I grew greedy with power and wealth that it blinds me sometimes. It is such a shame to say I'm doing things to others what they did to me. I grew tired of constantly been pick upon and did it to someone else who did nothing to me. Life is so unfair!! Why couldn't I do it to the same person that did it to me? Am I scared or threathened by them?
I don't know bout you but I have hard times trying to keep my friends. I'm not sure what to do with them. I don't get along very well with my friends from college and the last time I actually see and spoke to them was months ago. My friends from school are deminishing. My National Service friends was a past history since it been 3 years I think, since the last time we met up. One of the reasons are most probably the fact that they are on the west and we are on the east side of the country. but netherless, although we have few friends who's living in the same city, we didn't meet up. Our friendship only stretches far out on FB.
Now that all of us are growing up, it makes me feel like we have less and less time with one another. It may sound to you as if I'm talking about my partner or something but it's not. I never like anybody to the extent that I have a feeling and desire to have them. Personally, I think it's troublesome but from what I hear from my friends, you don't get lonely. It would be a lie if I say I don't get lonely sometimes but in the end, I got through that feeling and continue living my life. Back to my story, I'm actually referring to my childhood friends. All of us grew up and change right before our very own eyes and sometimes we are not used to the change and fall apart from each other. I don't want it to happen to me. Pathetically, they are the last of friends that I could pour my heart to. Although at times I didn't give much to tell about me to them but if I feeling like telling somebody, they would be the very first few people I would call. I would have like it if they are someone I can call when my heart was aching mad like hell. But I wouldn't want to burden them with my problems. One person suffering is way better than two.
Oh well, shit happens.
I grew greedy with power and wealth that it blinds me sometimes. It is such a shame to say I'm doing things to others what they did to me. I grew tired of constantly been pick upon and did it to someone else who did nothing to me. Life is so unfair!! Why couldn't I do it to the same person that did it to me? Am I scared or threathened by them?
I don't know bout you but I have hard times trying to keep my friends. I'm not sure what to do with them. I don't get along very well with my friends from college and the last time I actually see and spoke to them was months ago. My friends from school are deminishing. My National Service friends was a past history since it been 3 years I think, since the last time we met up. One of the reasons are most probably the fact that they are on the west and we are on the east side of the country. but netherless, although we have few friends who's living in the same city, we didn't meet up. Our friendship only stretches far out on FB.
Now that all of us are growing up, it makes me feel like we have less and less time with one another. It may sound to you as if I'm talking about my partner or something but it's not. I never like anybody to the extent that I have a feeling and desire to have them. Personally, I think it's troublesome but from what I hear from my friends, you don't get lonely. It would be a lie if I say I don't get lonely sometimes but in the end, I got through that feeling and continue living my life. Back to my story, I'm actually referring to my childhood friends. All of us grew up and change right before our very own eyes and sometimes we are not used to the change and fall apart from each other. I don't want it to happen to me. Pathetically, they are the last of friends that I could pour my heart to. Although at times I didn't give much to tell about me to them but if I feeling like telling somebody, they would be the very first few people I would call. I would have like it if they are someone I can call when my heart was aching mad like hell. But I wouldn't want to burden them with my problems. One person suffering is way better than two.
Oh well, shit happens.
Yours truly,
The Pain Of Being Stabbed Right At The Heart
The Pain Of Being Stabbed Right At The Heart
